Relationship Success Story
I like to share a success story with you about one of my clients.
After some coaching session, she called to say thanks and give me an update on her situation.
This client had been in the same relationship since she was 16 and she is 33 years old today. When she got into the relationship. She knew that she was falling in love with a man who would be gone a lot. She knew that she could never get a relationship where they would stay together for a longer period.
Everything was great between them, and they started talked about getting married and having kids. They ended up having a beautiful baby together but never got to the point of getting married.
As the responsibilities grew
Their relationship got tested. She found herself alone with all the responsibilities of their baby and whenever she needed him, he was never there. The only thing that kept her going was that maybe someday their relationship might change. That one day they would get married.
She felt that if she gave up, she will be missing out on a something really great with him.
She soon found herself making excuses for him. Defending his behaviour towards her family and friend who begged her to leave him since he was never around. But it didn’t help the more they asked her to leave the more she fought for their relationship.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about leaving him a million times. But he was the first guy she really fell in love with. She wanted to do anything in her power to make the relationship work”.
In her mind, she had a limiting belief that said. “To give up was weak and not to fight for the relationship was a weakness.
After 17 years together she was drained of energy. She experienced a lot of frustration, got annoyed and angry easily. Another issue that she was experiencing was that she had a hard time breathing. Often felt breathless out of nowhere. She ate a healthy diet, biked a lot and should have a good fitness level and yet became breathless easily.
Read more about the effect of stress on our breathing.
Wanting to keep fighting
She had no excuses nor energy to keep going and she contacted me. What was she to do. On one hand, all she wanted was to move on with her life. Just to have more energy for herself and her son. She wanted to be able to put the past behind her and just move on. On the other hand, she didn’t want to move on and leave her boyfriend. She wanted him to be a part of their lives. An active part of their son’s life and eventually a husband too.
She was really torn; she wanted to be able to make a rational decision. Whether to stay in the relationship or leave. She just couldn’t take that step. Definitely didn’t want anybody to tell her what to do. She wanted the decision to come from herself.
In our coaching session, we used EFT Tapping as a tool and tapped on:
“Even though I’m really angry with myself and want to move on. I can’t because I’m afraid of letting go. It okay I love and forgive myself”
Then came: “Even though I’m tired of taking care of everything myself and can’t count on XXX. Its ok I love and forgive myself”
And: “Even though I have been holding myself back and wasted so many years its ok. I love and accept myself”
We tapped several rounds, and it was really hard for her. There was a lot of anger and fear, and she was having a really hard time catching her breath.
After the first tapping session
Her inner self was calm, but her thoughts were chaotic. I asked her to take it easy. Drink plenty of water and write down anything that comes up regarding their relationship.
In our next session, she was feeling better, but she was still experiencing angry mostly towards herself. How could she put herself in a situation like this?
She was still experiencing shortness of breath.
We did some more anger tapping and she finally felt at ease.
Now the feeling of insecurity starts showing up.
She told me that she was nervous about the future. She couldn’t see herself out there meeting new people. Be herself and shine. She had always been a selfless person and always let others come first. For this, we did a self-esteem tapping.
When we were done with three tapping sessions she felt good. After a couple of days she started to feel different. She started feeling great, courageous and more clarified about her choices.
Today I got a call from her.
She ended the relationship with her boyfriend and it went better than she expected. She had not been sad about losing him, but about losing their presumed future together.
Relieved that she finally ended it, she felt a weight off her shoulders. Now she could truly be happy and she couldn’t wait to get started with her new life. On top of that, she met a new guy that she was excited to get to know better.
Read more about what a attitude of gratitude can do for you.
These changes are amazing considering that this girl hasn’t looked at another guy in 17 years.
This is such an amazing transformation and makes me so happy and I wanted to share this story with you.