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How it started

We all have heard stories about “how it started”. Today I want to share my story.

When Gabriel first came into this world, and I held him in my arms, I knew that I as going to do everything in my power to be there for him as much as I could. I wanted to spend every minute with him.

It seems like every day he was learning new things, and I just felt so privileged that I was able to witness it and be a part of it.
Then he reached the age of one, and my maternity leave was soon over. I started panicking; I couldn’t bear the thought of getting back to work a 9-17 job and only see him for two hours before putting him to bed.

It wouldn’t be healthy for him in any way to only see his mother for only two hours a day, and I needed to see him more; I needed to be with him.
There were many anxious days and restless nights

My husband and I had many talks about it, and he asked me why don’t you start up your own business?
At that point is seemed so unrealistic to me, start my own?
What was I suppose to do?
-Well, you are a coach and an EFT Practioner and you are good at helping people, why not start out with that?

Read more about dealing with fear and doubt.

I have helped a lot of people, but I have always considered it more like a passion and a hobby. I had a limited belief that you can’t make a living by working with your hobby.
How was I even going to get started? I lacked sleep, tired all the time and couldn’t keep one straight thought in my head.

Instead, I began to apply for part-time jobs and work from home jobs, so that at least I didn’t have to stay away from him for a longer period.
Then Gabriel started in the nursery, and suddenly I had time on my hand. I began a project that I have been thinking about since I was pregnant with him. I wanted to write empowering books for him, so he always knew that strength was within him and didn’t have to look for it in other places.

While I was writing the books, I read some of the stories for my husband, and he loved them. He asked me what the plans were for these stories.
I didn’t have any plans; I just want Gabriel to have them.
Then he asked me, why don’t you publish them?
This way you can help other kids around the world find their strength within themselves.

Of course I wanted to!
But I had so many insecurities at that time. I had lost my job before I got pregnant and that broke me down completely.
I had been baby talking for a year, doing nothing more than just enjoying the baby.
I had developed anxiety; I didn’t want to be seen or heard.
I was very insecure about my writing, spelling, and grammar. Who would want to buy my books and who would want to listen to what I had to say. I just didn’t want to create to much fuzz and attention about myself, so I kept working on my books and just ignored what my husband said.

In the first couple of months in the nursery while being exposed to other kids and new germs, Gabriel got sick often so he was home a lot.
It was a setback for my project, but it was more important that Gabriel was nurtured proper and could get well soon.
In this period I worked whenever I had the energy. When he was sick he didn’t sleep through the night and often when he slept; I passed out too because I was so drained. it was a very slow process.

When things started to stabilize with Gabriel, my husband and I continued talking about starting up the company. All the insecurities started screaming and shouting inside me.
What if you can’t make it work?
What if you can’t earn money by helping others?
What if you can’t make a living, how are you going to survive?

My limiting belief was that you need to have a stable job to have an income and you need to have a stable income if you have a kid.
As far back as I remember I have always wanted to help others, to help them find their greatness. But I always thought that I couldn’t make a living off of it.

The thing is that what your conscious mind accepts as truth, actually becomes true through your subconscious mind. So if you tell yourself that you can’t do it, then it is pretty sure that it wouldn’t happen.

So I spent a lot of time analyzing myself, what limited beliefs did I have, what was I doing that was holding me back. I started writing, writing and writing to improve my writing skills and to become more comfortable with my grammar and spelling. I started taking courses in blogging and content creation. Instead of hiding behind my insecurities I started challenging them and working on them.

Life is a learning process; we can always improve, and we can always get better.

Soon I got a good rhythm and started working towards my goal.
I managed to write a couple of books and began planning my upcoming blog.

Then within a week Gabriel began not liking going to the nursery.
He kept crying and even if we called half an hour later he would still be crying. I started working from a cafe near his nursery so I could pick him up if he were still sad. After a week of that, we had enough. They weren’t taking care of him, and we were building all this for Gabriel, what was the use if he wasn’t happy?
So we took him out from the nursery, which meant that Gabriel have to stay home for four months before starting a new place and I could only work an hour or two when he slept at noon or when he went to bed at 20.00 to 23.00 /24.00
It was a major setback, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He was the main reason I started this journey, and his welfare means everything.

Starting the journey, wanting to become an entrepreneur and be independent hasn’t been easy, but that the thing, when things come easy, we don’t appreciate them as much as with things we have to fight. Nobody said it would be easy to achieve your dream, but it will be worth your efforts.

I’m still fighting my insecurities, and I’m still learning the process whilst balancing life with a toddler. It is an uphill battle with a lot and lot of planning.

If you want to read more of my journey, click here.

But hey, whatever gets you closer to your dream, right?

#DIARYOFASTARTUPMOM

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