Don’t yell – tell

Parenting

You shouldn’t yell at your children and you shouldn’t say “No” all the time. We hear this advice backed up by psychologists all the time, and yet it happens time and time again.

I think a lot of people believe in raising kids the way their parents raised them, or what has worked since early times.
There is also a new fear arising, that we don’t want to be a too soft parent, or even worse a curling parent.

Newsflash: kids don’t get spoiled or “lazy” by love and understanding.
It is not kids but adults that have to learn to set boundaries and teach right from wrong.

There is so much research done in this field and there is so much new information coming up. That teaches us how to raise strong kids without ruining their self-worth.

Read more about how to raise strong kids in a mad world.

One thing that really throws me off is; when a parent chooses to loudly yell at their kids in public or start correcting them.
Don’t do that!
It is a devastating experience for the child and also for the surrounding watching without being able to interfere.
Nobody likes to be disciplined in public and children are no different from adults in this area. This is backed up by research lead by Danish psychologist and researcher Erik Sigsgaard.
It is a very devastating experience for them and very destructive for their self-esteem.

I would lie if I said that I haven’t yelled at my son, I have. I Think this is something a lot of parents can recognize doing when getting frustrated.

But most of the time in our family, we sit down and try to talk and explain things to him.
At three years of age, it is not always that he can comprehend situations and can start crying if he doesn’t get his way, and we let him cry.

It’s important for him to get his frustrations out and be able to feel what he is feeling. We are right there by his side if he needs to be held or needs a hug. We are right there to comfort him so that he knows that it is ok to feel the way he is feeling and that mommy and daddy are there for him regardless.

Second thing I have noticed is; that some parents aren’t that good at letting their children be a part of the decision making process.
Often they make the decision for the child and veto with “because I’m in charge”.
Of course, not all decisions can be left to the children as it will overwhelm and stress them out.
But children that have been taught to make small decisions here and there, learn earlier on to make good decisions and are not as often a victim of peer pressure or in need of acceptance from others, research has shown.
It is also a self-esteem boost for them to able to choose and have the opportunity to make a choice.

In our house, my son chooses what he wants for breakfast, the clothes he wants to wear, how he wants to style his hair and what to do after Nursery.

Everything is presented with options to choose from, and I have noticed that it is a booster for him to be a part of the decision-making process.
Even when he makes “bad choices”, he sort of taking ownership of his choices and I think it is a very important skill to have.

Thirdly, as children grow from infants to toddlers, it seems like the level of affection parents shows their kids drop. Toddlers are treated like little adults and need to be taught responsibility and it especially happens after they get siblings.

Research has shown that children that still get a lot of affection from their parents (especially the mother, like kisses and hugs) are more likely to grow up and become happy individuals with a high self-esteem and less prone to anxiety.
Children that are shown less affection have a tendency to have lower self-esteem. Worst case, they feel neglected which result in both health and emotional issues throughout their lives.

Read more about the importance of kids believing in themselves.

A lot of people think, that giving kids too much love spoil them, make them dependent and parents have to carry them through life. This is not true, you can give your child a lot of love, affection and still be able to teach them to be independent, responsible, compassionate that is love too, and it is taught by example.
So give your child a lot of love, hugs, and kisses and of course, always respect their boundaries.

It is not what you do for your children,
but what you have taught them to do for themselves,
that makes them successful human beings.

      Ann Landers

Our family is very affectionate and our boy is surrounded by constant love and affection.
We don’t believe in such thing as “too much love”, there is always room for more.
By showing him love, spend quality time with him and tell him how wonderful he is.
We lead by example and we have a very happy and caring kid.

It is noticeable that he is very outgoing and attentive towards others.
Even his teachers at the Nursery have noticed that he is very affectionate. He is really good at giving the teachers hugs if they lack energy and if he sees some of the kids being sad, he is the first one to comfort.

Nowadays there is so much knowledge about how to give our children the best start in life, all you have to do is to find what works for your family. As long as you got your child’s best interest in mind, you can’t go wrong.

Tagged:

You Might Also Like

Comments

  42. cialis tablets for sale uk

    That is really fascinating, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your rss feed and stay up for in quest of extra of your magnificent post.

    Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks https://cialis.mrdgeography.com/tadalafil

  46. chloroquine and hydroxychloroquine

    It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it
    is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I
    wish to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.

    I want to read even more things about it! http://hydroxychloroquinea.anafassia.com/

  49. roman prices for vidalista

    I do not even know how I stopped up here, but I thought this submit used to
    be good. I do not recognize who you might be but certainly you are going to a well-known blogger if you happen to aren’t
    already. Cheers! http://herreramedical.org/vidalista

  50. good rx aurogra

    Hiya! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
    My weblog looks weird when browsing from my iphone.
    I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this issue.
    If you have any recommendations, please share. Cheers! http://www.deinformedvoters.org/aurogra-online

  51. sildenafil citrate 100mg tablet price

    Just want to say your article is as surprising.

    The clearness for your publish is just excellent and that i
    can think you are a professional in this subject. Fine with your permission let me to
    grasp your RSS feed to keep updated with imminent
    post. Thanks one million and please keep up the enjoyable work. http://www.deinformedvoters.org/sildenafil-price

  52. tadalafil generic canada pharmacy

    First of all I would like to say awesome blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your
    head prior to writing. I have had a hard time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out.
    I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes
    are generally lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or tips?

    Cheers! http://www.deinformedvoters.org/tadalafil-price

  55. hydroxychloroquine 200mg pills

    Hey there great blog! Does running a blog similar to this require a large amount
    of work? I have absolutely no understanding of programming however I had been hoping to
    start my own blog soon. Anyways, if you have any suggestions or techniques
    for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic however I simply wanted to
    ask. Kudos! https://hydroxychloroquinew.webbfenix.com/

  56. average cost cialis 5mg

    Hey there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout
    out and say I genuinely enjoy reading through your articles.
    Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same topics?

    Thanks! https://cialis.buszcentrum.com/tadalafil

  67. ampicillin 500mg uses

    Good day very cool blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Wonderful ..
    I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?
    I’m glad to search out a lot of useful information here in the put up, we want work
    out more techniques on this regard, thank you for sharing.
    . . . . . http://antiibioticsland.com/Ampicillin.htm

  73. cialis samples free

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long
    comment but after I clicked submit my comment
    didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted
    to say superb blog! http://cleckleyfloors.com/cialis

  81. zortilonrel

    I will right away snatch your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me know so that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

    http://www.zortilonrel.com/

Add A Comment