Are You A Control Freak?
Photo Cred. The Telegraph.co.uk
As long as I remember, I have always been a control freak. I like to know what I’m doing, when and with whom. Always had this need to plan everything.
I used to hate it when someone cancelled our appointment. It almost felt personal. What was I supposed to do instead?
It could really annoy me, and it would ruin my whole day.
That was how I was. I surrounded myself with like-minded people and almost took pride in my need for control.
Then I met a person that turned everything upside down for me. This person couldn’t understand my obsession with time, my need for control and routines. Unlike me, this person was very free spirited. Never wore a watch; would take things as they came and didn’t have a care in the world.
Getting to know this person, I couldn’t understand. How can you not care for time!
How do you know, if you are late or on time?
This person annoyed me and was very different from anybody I had previously known. At the same time it was refreshing. I was fascinated by the spontaneity, no care and disregard of time.
Even though this person was in my life for a very short period, this person thought me a valuable lesson:
Relax and take things as the come, enjoy life and be more spontaneous.
After that encounter, I started to let go of some of the control.
I started doing things more spontaneously if an appointment got cancelled. I just met up with another friend or did something else. Instead of using my control needs as a security blanket, I got out of my comfort zone and did things I’ve never done before.
When I look back, it has given me an abundant life and a lot of great experiences.
The need of control comes out of not feeling safe or secure. When you try to control things it gives you a false sense of safety.
The funny part is that we don’t have control over anything in our lives. People that have a need for control have a great fear of the unknown. When they experience something that shooks them out of their comfort zone, it feels like an extreme shock to the system. In a worst case scenario, it can grow into anxiety or panic attacks.
As a Parent, you work a lot with routines because babies need routines. What often happens with these routines is that they become habits. Suddenly you see yourself doing the same things over and over again.
I found myself here again, wanting to control, to know and plan everything that was going to happen so that I was ready.
Not long ago, I stumbled upon this quote from Les Brown:
In order to do something you never done,
you got to become someone you never been.
It was a great reminder. If I want to change my situation. I need to do things I haven’t done before.
My baby’s routines are still the same, but I have now started making changes to mine.
The process has begun. Let 2017 be a great year.
Read more about how to make 2017 your best year.