Stop Being A Victim And Take Control
I remember a period of time in my life, where I was always the source of drama. Conscious or subconsciously, as long as it got me what I wanted, it was all good.
I especially remember when I was young and still lived with my parents. Whenever I wanted something I just needed to slam the doors, shout loud and be “drama”. Eventually, I’d get my way.
Growing up, you realize shouting loud or slamming doors wouldn’t get you far. It will actually make people avoid you. It will never make people give in and let you have your way.
My childish behavior didn’t get me far and my behavior changed to that of a victim. As a victim, you feel powerless and don’t feel like you have any control.
Instead of taking ownership of the things that are happening in your life, you blame others for doing things to you.
Are you being used? If you are left with a feeling anger, sadness, and being gullible, Read more.
The thing is that in most cases you do have control, to change your circumstances.
If you are treated badly you can leave, if someone is being unfair to you, you can say stop.
Being in a situation that isn’t making you feel good, then you have the choice to change your outlook on the situation.
Many victims also become Pleaser’s, and a Pleaser doesn’t want to hurt anybody: Rather than changing their circumstances, they hide behind” I don’t want to hurt somebody” or “I cant do this to that person”.
But what they don’t understand is that by not taking control, they are actually hurting the person’s they think they are trying to protect.
Being dramatic or a victim is often not a conscious act, It just becomes a way of being.
How do you know if you are being just dramatic or a victim?
If the outcome of things happening to you always makes you feel helpless, powerless or bad, then you are a victim
For the longest time, I would think:
- why are these things happening to me?
- Why do I always meet the wrong guys?
- Why do I let my friend use me?
- Why don’t my family understand me?
- Why does bad stuff keep happening to me?
I have been in situations where I didn’t feel like I was being treated fairly. In some situations, I just let it happened and ended up losing myself.
Instead of saying no or stop, I didn’t do anything about it.
In other situations, instead of saying anything, I just avoided the person or the scene. I just stopped showing up.
From here things just started spiraling down.
I knew that things needed to change.
For that to happen I had to take ownership of my life, so I started doing things that were out of my comfort zone.
I start taking responsibility for my life and my choices.
- If there was something that I doubted, I’d ask.
- If there was something I didn’t like, I’d say no.
- If I chose to do anything or something, I wanted to make the best out of it.
- If something bad happens I always look for the Silver lining.
I changed my life following these rules.
Read more about how to stop feeling disheartened and take control.
When you start taking responsibility for your life instead of letting life control you, you take charge.
Taking charge is not always easy. You will lose people, there will be conflicts and feeling will be hurt.
But after the storm comes the calm. No person that walks into a storm comes out the same on the other side. It will change you, and your relationship with the people around you.
It will make you a happier and more genuine person that people can rely on. And because you are happy, people around you will be happy too.