Are You A Control Freak?
Photo Cred. The Telegraph.co.uk
As long as I remember, I have always been a control freak. I like to know what I’m doing, when and with whom. I like to plan everything.
I used to hate it when someone canceled our appointment. It almost felt personal. What was I supposed to do instead?
I could get really annoyed, and it could actually ruin my whole day.
At that point in time, I was like that; I surrounded myself with liked minded people and almost took pride in my need for control.
Then I meet a person that turned everything upside down for me. This person couldn’t understand my obsession with time, my need for control and routines. Opposite me, this person was a very free spirited. Never wore a watch; would take things as they came and didn’t have a care in the world.
Getting to know this person I couldn’t understand; how can you not care for the time!
How do you know, if you are on time or not?
This person was really annoying and very different from everything I had previously known. At the same time it was an eye-opener, and I was fascinated by the spontaneity, having no care and the disregard of time.
Even though this person was in my life for a very short period, this person thought me a valuable lesson:
Take things as the come, enjoy life and be more spontaneous.
After that encounter, I started to let go of some of the control. I started doing things more spontaneously if an appointment got canceled; I just met up with another friend or did something else. Instead of using my control needs as a security blanket, I got out of my comfort zone and did things I’ve never done before.
When I look back, it has given me an abundant life with a lot of great experiences.
The need of control comes out of not feeling safe or secure. When you try to control things it gives you a false sense of security.
The funny part is that we don’t have control over anything in our lives. People that have a need for control have a great fear of the unknown. When they experience something that shook them out of their comfort zone, it’s an extreme shock to their system. In a worst case scenario, it can grow into anxiety or panic attacks.
As a Parent, you work a lot with routines because babies need routines. What often happens with these routines is that they become habits. Suddenly you see yourself doing the same things over and over again.
I found myself here again, wanting to control, to know and plan everything that was going to happen so that I was ready.
Not long ago, I stumbled upon this quote from Les Brown:
In order to do something you never done,
you got to become someone you never been.
It was a great reminder. If I want to change my situation, then I need to do things I haven’t done before.
My baby’s routines are still the same, but I have now started making changes to my life.
The process has begun. Let 2017 be a great year.